Beyond Screens: Tech & Parenting #2
In this issue: Denmark's new approach to children and tech; the emerging risks of AI chatbots ; how EU regulations are trying (and sometimes failing) to protect kids ; one thing to try this week
How Denmark is rethinking children’s relationship with technology in 2025
The main reason my wife and I chose to move to Denmark was the education system. Seeing our daughter's progress and her joy to be in kindergarten makes me think we made the right choice. The Danish educators that have taken care of our daughter seem to appreciate kids for who they are, not for their future potential. There's no push for competition or being first at anything. And the slow, intentional connection to nature is wonderful. Our daughter spends three weeks out of four in a forest kindergarten and all this is within the public system.
This thoughtful, child-centered approach extends to how Denmark is currently moving to protect our kids’ digital exposure.
The Well-Being Commission's impact
The Trivselskommissionen (Well-Being Commission) has had a significant impact on the conversations and policies about kids and tech in Denmark. Established in 2023, the commission was asked to investigate why Danish children's well-being has been declining and to suggest solutions.
Their final report, "Et dansk svar på en vestlig udfordring" (A Danish Answer to a Western Challenge), released in February this year, has shaped national policy with its 35 recommendations. Following the report, Danish government announced plans to have mobile-free environments in all primary schools (grundskoler) and associated leisure facilities (fritidshjem/SFO).
These are some key recommendations from the report:
It's worth noting that school phone bans alone are not enough. Research shows that children in schools with strict policies often just make up for lost screen time by using their devices more at home. This is why our role as parents remains so crucial, the ultimate responsibility falls on us.
The Danish Media Council's advice
In 2024, the Media Council for Children and Young People launched 'The Right Attitude' initiative with four basic pieces of advice for digital parenting:
Be present when your child uses digital media
Stick to the recommended age limits
Make family screen time agreements that everyone follows
Be a good role model
I've bolded that first and last point for a reason: kids don't do what we say, they model what they see us and their peers do. Again and again, our children make us look at ourselves in the mirror. When I check my phone first thing in the morning instead of making porridge for my daughter, I risk teaching her a lesson more powerful than any rules I might set.
This is why being present forces us adults to examine our own relationship with technology. It's not comfortable, but it might be the most important work we can do.
What the EU is doing: the Digital Services Act
The EU Digital Services Act (DSA) adds some important protections for Danish children online: it bans targeted advertising based on profiling minors, requires high safety and privacy settings by default, mandates risk assessments for very large platforms, prohibits platforms from showing ads when they know "with reasonable certainty" the user is a minor, and finally it bans "dark patterns" - deceptive designs that trick users into making unintended choices.
However, just look at apps currently used by children and teens - even big players like YouTube - and you'll see they're not really following the rules. It's still very easy to bypass age checks (if they exist at all), and children are exposed daily to advertising in games and video platforms. National authorities and the EU need to improve enforcement, and we need to push for this to happen.
The new frontier of AI & chatbots
Formal regulation is not yet developed on this issue but civil society organizations like Børns Vilkår and advisory bodies like Medierådet for Børn og Unge are raising concerns about AI chatbots. A recent risk assessment done with input from Stanford University School of Medicine states that children shouldn't interact with companion chatbots because such interactions risk self-harm and could worsen mental health problems and addiction.
There's a huge need for regulation here, and the EU needs to act fast. As parents, we should stay educated about these risks, constantly monitor and talk to our kids about the apps they use. The tragic case of a child who took their own life after interactions with Character.AI shows how serious this is. The child's mother had no idea the AI app could influence their child in such a way.
Looking ahead
With the rapid pace of artificial intelligence, the digital environment our children navigate is constantly changing. And with the risks being so big, we can’t afford to move fast and break things. Recent EU elections have brought more populists into power, and I worry that EU-level protections might weaken. This makes national policy and local action even more important.
I'd love to hear how you're thinking about navigating these challenges in your own home. Let me know in the comments or via email.
What I'm reading
📝Your Kids Are Big Tech’s Guinea Pigs
Romantic relationships with A.I. chatbots are commonplace enough that coverage has shifted to their tragic downsides. My newsroom colleague Kevin Roose reported on the death by suicide of the Florida 14-year-old Sewell Setzer III, a child who developed an intense bond with a bot he created on Character.AI, a role-playing app. According to chat logs provided to Roose and court filings, that character, already knowing of Setzer’s suicidal ideation, encouraged him to “come home” to her, and he did. Now his mother is suing Character.AI.
📝Google Plans to Roll Out Its A.I. Chatbot to Children Under 13
Children’s groups warn the chatbots could pose serious risks to child safety. UNICEF, the United Nation’s children’s agency, and other children’s groups have noted that the A.I. systems could confuse, misinform and manipulate young children.
📝Smartphone use and mental health: going beyond school restriction policies
The study found no evidence that school phone policies were associated with improved mental wellbeing, anxiety, depression, problematic social media use, sleep health (duration, efficiency, timing), physical activity or educational attainment. As expected, participants in schools with restrictive policies reported less phone use during the school day (by about 30 min), but compensated for this when outside of school, so overall there was no evidence of a difference in screen time or social media time on weekdays or weekends. […] More generally, a focus on total screentime and social media use is likely to fail to address the diverse and complex mechanisms via which social media use might impact on mental health. Studies suggest that social comparison, passive versus active use of social media and various motives for social media use may have more influence on depression, anxiety and psychological distress than merely the duration of use.
📝Influence of Screen Time on Physical Activity and Lifestyle Factors in German School Children
Our results show that excessive screen time in children is linked to higher weight and an unhealthy lifestyle, increasing long-term cardiovascular risks. Public health initiatives aimed at reducing screen time, promoting physical activity, and encouraging healthier habits are essential to improve children’s overall health and prevent future chronic diseases.
📝Toward Defining Problematic Media Usage Patterns in Adolescents
Incessantly watching documentaries daily or compulsively shopping all evening and late into the night perforce interferes with offline life, including sleep, physical activity, social interactions, and school or work.
📝Germany considers smartphone ban in schools
Education researcher Klaus Zierer: "We can determine that in the schools where smartphone bans have been introduced and pedagogically supported, there has been an increase in social wellbeing. Smartphone bans also reduce the time available for cyberbullying, because school is often where this happens, for example taking photos in the school toilets."
📝‘Digital nutritionist’ says parents worrying about their children need first to look at their own usage
“I support the work of Smartphone Free Childhood,” said Regehr, who is programme director of digital humanities at UCL and has previously researched how algorithms used by social media platforms are rapidly amplifying extreme misogynistic content. “My fear is that when you implement a ban, it can let schools and legislators off the hook because they think the job is done.”
One thing to try this week
Leave your phone charging outside your bedroom at night, and don't check it until after you've had breakfast with your kids. See if this changes how the morning feels for everyone.
I want to hear from you
What questions about kids and technology keep you up at night? Would you like to contribute to a future newsletter? Add a comment or send me an email.
This newsletter will evolve based on what matters to you. Reach out with your thoughts and questions, and if you know other parents who might find this helpful please send them the newsletter.